Tick, Tick, Boom

[plumtreeblossom]

I bought a new alarm clock this evening to replace the one that is now pushing up daisies. I didn't notice until I got home that the plastic packaging on the clock had previously been opened and taped back shut. Huh. Somebody bought it and brought it back. Can't imagine why...

I opened it and looked it over; it looked fine, a perfectly normal cheap-o alarm clock. I cycled through a lifetime of forced conditioning for mass hysteria about suspicious tampered-with packaging and bitch-slapped it all down: No, the clock is not poisoned like Halloween candy. No, the clock does not contain a hidden camera. No, the clock is not outfitted with a kitchen-made bomb. This whole mental process took about 9 seconds. But it was a long 9 seconds.

The electrical outlets in our house appear to have been intentionally placed in inconvenient and impractical locations, so I had to go through the whole move-bed-tangle-with-power-strip routine to get my new clock plugged in and ticking.

Yes, ticking. Not a silent sweep second hand. The clock's second hand ticks.

TICKmississippiTICKmississippiTICKmissis-fucking-sippi.... like Chinese water torture. Mmmkay, that explains someone buying it and bringing it back.

Kinda just exactly like me, tomorrow. But I'll slip in a warning note before taping it up again. It'll be some kind of private in-joke between me and the next unsuspecting consumer who buys this ticking, fucking, clock.

Check back tomorrow with vanguardcdk if I was wrong, and it was a bomb...

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

you are impressively silly. really. I am impressed:)

[vanguardcdk.livejournal.com]

Heh..actually I had a wall-clock in my room that ticked like that. It drove me bonkers so I took it down (the smiley face is there now).

Also nice to hear that if it was a bomb you expected me to survive.. ;)