Your userpic is perfect. That's exactly what I would look like if offered a communal wipe (and my ear would probably fall off, too).

Especially when you consider what temperature "hot" water is in a standard home washing machine. There's no possible way to get them sanitary except perhaps to soak them in bleach, and with those bright festive fabrics, bleach clearly isn't gonna happen. Hello residual bacteria! *shudder*