plumtreeblossom | Cards Card Cards, Yeah

I was in a card store in Copley buying V-Day stuff for my niece, and was noticing how the variety of relationship-specific Valentines has broadened a lot in recent years. I now see cards to My Future Parents-in-Law, My Child's Teacher, My 12-Step Sponsor, My Special Friend (that last one I’ll leave up to your private interpretation).

I was in a marketing head, and thinking that if we're going to expand our Valentines inclusivity (TM), there are an awful lot of true-life relationships that aren't being represented, let alone exploited to their full retail potential.

A proposed sampling, if you will:

To My Bitch
To My "Beloved" Stepchild
To My Fuck Buddy (Sorry I Can't Mail It, What's Your Last Name?)
To My Wingwoman, Who's Pretty On The Inside
To My Sperm Bank and ATM for The Next 5 Years, er, Fiancé
To My Deadbeat Daddy, Or Current Resident
To Your Mother – Give It To Her When You Spend Valentines Day With Her Instead of Me, Mama’s Boy
To My Therapist, I Mean, As Long As It’s Okay, Wait You’re Looking At Me Funny, So It’s Not Okay? I’m Sorry, I’m So Stupid, I Always Ruin Everything

Add your own card. And if that’s not enough, buy some of these.

Cards Card Cards, Yeah

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