First off, this really made me laugh. I'm sorry your pain converts to my amusement, but I got the impression you were aiming for wit; if so, bullseye.

I feel compelled to note I've witnessed some atrocious behavior on Japanese trains, too -- admittedly less than on the T, but if you live here long enough, you do see it: vicious shoving to get on and off is the most common (I mean really hardcore, as in people get hurt), but also people who stretch out across multiple seats (I've even seen people lying down!) or cluelessly make poor use of space.

In general, people's conservation of space on crowded trains seems to be a function of the prevailing cultural more that says it's okay to really pack a train; whereas during rush hour in New York a lot of people will just wait for the next train, no one in Tokyo does this. Until the train is packed, you're like as not to see people using space poorly. Not usually a big deal at that point, but sometimes rude when if people were just a little more aware there'd be one or two more seats for others.

And of course, frottage is such a problem here that Japan Rail has actually instituted women-only train cars. That alone says something troubling.

So, assholes everywhere. Big surprise. But at least I've never been farted on.