plumtreeblossom (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
plumtreeblossom) wrote2007-02-27 04:12 pm
plumtreeblossom) wrote2007-02-27 04:12 pm
So Very Wrong
Every single dating-strategies-for-men website or column I've ever read has been chock full of advice that would send this woman screaming for the hills or slamming doors in faces. I don't know who is writing them, but they sure don't know how real women respond to manipulative behavior and just plain rudeness.
I just took an online dating test for men, and I answered exactly how I, as a woman, would want a man to behave/act in each scenario. I failed the test! The answer key explained why.
Don't call/e-mail her for a week after the first date. Don't accept an e-mail address instead of a home phone number. If she won't kiss you on the first date, dump her; she's not interested. Use a homely woman to attract a gorgeous woman.
I am willing to wager money that no lesbian dating book suggests these things.
Every one of these would be grounds for dismissal in the very early stages of dating with me, with very few exceptions (if you get hit by a bus after our date, you don't have to e-mail me within a week of our date). I have to wonder what these date-flailing men who spend hundreds of dollars on books and "systems" to get more hawt babez think when some bitch like me says NO to a 2nd date after being told "You can reach the salt just fine yourself." In some cases I see multiple levels of material that the men have to continue buying to ensure success, but to sell it, the company has to ensure early failure. I don't see this bad behavior much in the poly community, but someone in the mono world is gettin' scammed.
I should get a panel of women together and write a real dating advice book for men. Advice directly from the intended target, not some aging Love Doctor who's arbitrarily (and profitably) decided that women put out for men (or women) who treat them like crap. I know otherwise. ;-)
(Working title: You Want A Date? You Can't Handle A Date!)
Heh, between me and my girls with dating experience, we probably have a collective 300 years of experience and advice to give.
I can remember personals ads dates where I was quite sure one of those strategic systems was being used on me. I wonder if they thought "WTF, I paid $200 for that set of dating tapes" while watching my backside exiting Starbucks.
I just took an online dating test for men, and I answered exactly how I, as a woman, would want a man to behave/act in each scenario. I failed the test! The answer key explained why.
Don't call/e-mail her for a week after the first date. Don't accept an e-mail address instead of a home phone number. If she won't kiss you on the first date, dump her; she's not interested. Use a homely woman to attract a gorgeous woman.
I am willing to wager money that no lesbian dating book suggests these things.
Every one of these would be grounds for dismissal in the very early stages of dating with me, with very few exceptions (if you get hit by a bus after our date, you don't have to e-mail me within a week of our date). I have to wonder what these date-flailing men who spend hundreds of dollars on books and "systems" to get more hawt babez think when some bitch like me says NO to a 2nd date after being told "You can reach the salt just fine yourself." In some cases I see multiple levels of material that the men have to continue buying to ensure success, but to sell it, the company has to ensure early failure. I don't see this bad behavior much in the poly community, but someone in the mono world is gettin' scammed.
I should get a panel of women together and write a real dating advice book for men. Advice directly from the intended target, not some aging Love Doctor who's arbitrarily (and profitably) decided that women put out for men (or women) who treat them like crap. I know otherwise. ;-)
(Working title: You Want A Date? You Can't Handle A Date!)
Heh, between me and my girls with dating experience, we probably have a collective 300 years of experience and advice to give.
I can remember personals ads dates where I was quite sure one of those strategic systems was being used on me. I wonder if they thought "WTF, I paid $200 for that set of dating tapes" while watching my backside exiting Starbucks.
Re: Girls are Stupid / Boys are Stupid
I was trying to go through all the excuses I've ever made for bad women in my life.
I agree with you that nice men sometimes come across as lacking self confidence, and I would hazard a guess that many nice men do lack this self confidence. I certainly have confidence problems that stem back to rejection in adolescence. Of course, this is no excuse, and being nice doesn't compensate for lacking confidence. Confidence is so sexy. For me, it can compensate for almost anything (sometimes even too much). I suspect this lack of confidence is the invisible barrier around nice men that I refer to, like a shroud that masks their attractiveness. I think many of these men do become more confident in a relationship, but that's just like me wanting a women to be more hot/smart/funny once she's in a relationship.