I enjoyed reading about your experiences with public school and I'm amazed, sincerely, that you can remember so much about it! I sparsely remember a single sex education class that prepared me for my menstrual cycle and very little more. My childhood is too screwed up to comment on my own experiences with life, sex, etc... I can say that my mother treated sex like the filthy three letter taboo. Don't say it, don't do it, don't think about it! *grinning here*
I always kept the door open with my children. While I always gauged the type of information and how much information they received on what age they were when they asked questions, I never lied to them. If they are asking, they already know something and are thinking about the subject matter. Surely you remember the wild stories you heard in the bathroom at school. While public school sex, health education was available, it was poor at best in the schools I attended. I chose to educate my own children as age, time and questions dictated and not rely on the school system to educate them about matters of sex and their bodies.
When my twins had just entered their 8th year, I took them home to Boston. We spent an entire day at the Museum of Science. Not to miss a thing, we eventually wound up in the wing where the human body is explained in detail and that included the wonders of reproduction. What I had not remembered was the small personal theatre where you could view the birth of a baby both vaginally and by c-section. While standing at one display with my brother-in-law, marveling over details, my adventurous twins ducked into that small theatre and hit both buttons. I discovered them in the process of watching both films. I had to swallow my motherly horror rather quickly and decided on the spot that to act horrified and shocked would only make this situation bad. So I sat there and watched with them. I answered their questions as they came to them and that was the end of it. I didn't provide them with more information than they needed nor did I back out of the questions that they did ask. They were neither traumatized or destroyed by what they had witnessed or learned that afternoon. It was simple knowledge to them and they were fine with it.
I had no way of knowing it on that day but I had miraculously opened the door for a lifetime of serious discussions about sex, std's, aides, pregnancy with them as they grew. I always kept a straight face (so vital), and always gave them intelligent, straight forward answers that made them feel comfortable for having asked. While my adult son is less apt to discuss or talk about these things with me since his teen years, my adult daughter will ask me questions regarding sex (she is sexually active with her fiance) and come to me for advice. She does it so matter of fact and on some level, yeah, that does make me feel good as her mother. I had to learn first to separate my motherly shock and discomfort to be able to give them the answers they needed. If I didn't have the answer, I tried to point them in the direction they where they could obtain the facts they needed. I answered their questions about sex, bodily behavior, homosexuality, diseases, pregnancy, birth control, you name it, over the years we've talked about all kinds of things!
I feel good about the entire process of raising them with that attitude. They have not turned out to be homophobic, deviant sex fiends because they got the truth and accurate information when they asked questions as children. I do feel that if parents rely solely on the public school system to educate their children on these matters, they have no way of knowing what information their child is really getting and/or if it's adequate enough to prepare them for these matters of life. I suppose if more parents harbor the same attitudes as my parents did, then yes, I can see where pubic school sex education and supportive assistance via the school system would be vital to a child. I just feel bad if that is all they have to rely upon for the information and preparation they need.
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Sorry - Long winded...
Date: 2006-02-02 12:28 am (UTC)I always kept the door open with my children. While I always gauged the type of information and how much information they received on what age they were when they asked questions, I never lied to them. If they are asking, they already know something and are thinking about the subject matter. Surely you remember the wild stories you heard in the bathroom at school. While public school sex, health education was available, it was poor at best in the schools I attended. I chose to educate my own children as age, time and questions dictated and not rely on the school system to educate them about matters of sex and their bodies.
When my twins had just entered their 8th year, I took them home to Boston. We spent an entire day at the Museum of Science. Not to miss a thing, we eventually wound up in the wing where the human body is explained in detail and that included the wonders of reproduction. What I had not remembered was the small personal theatre where you could view the birth of a baby both vaginally and by c-section. While standing at one display with my brother-in-law, marveling over details, my adventurous twins ducked into that small theatre and hit both buttons. I discovered them in the process of watching both films. I had to swallow my motherly horror rather quickly and decided on the spot that to act horrified and shocked would only make this situation bad. So I sat there and watched with them. I answered their questions as they came to them and that was the end of it. I didn't provide them with more information than they needed nor did I back out of the questions that they did ask. They were neither traumatized or destroyed by what they had witnessed or learned that afternoon. It was simple knowledge to them and they were fine with it.
I had no way of knowing it on that day but I had miraculously opened the door for a lifetime of serious discussions about sex, std's, aides, pregnancy with them as they grew. I always kept a straight face (so vital), and always gave them intelligent, straight forward answers that made them feel comfortable for having asked. While my adult son is less apt to discuss or talk about these things with me since his teen years, my adult daughter will ask me questions regarding sex (she is sexually active with her fiance) and come to me for advice. She does it so matter of fact and on some level, yeah, that does make me feel good as her mother. I had to learn first to separate my motherly shock and discomfort to be able to give them the answers they needed. If I didn't have the answer, I tried to point them in the direction they where they could obtain the facts they needed. I answered their questions about sex, bodily behavior, homosexuality, diseases, pregnancy, birth control, you name it, over the years we've talked about all kinds of things!
I feel good about the entire process of raising them with that attitude. They have not turned out to be homophobic, deviant sex fiends because they got the truth and accurate information when they asked questions as children. I do feel that if parents rely solely on the public school system to educate their children on these matters, they have no way of knowing what information their child is really getting and/or if it's adequate enough to prepare them for these matters of life. I suppose if more parents harbor the same attitudes as my parents did, then yes, I can see where pubic school sex education and supportive assistance via the school system would be vital to a child. I just feel bad if that is all they have to rely upon for the information and preparation they need.