![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
My Family's Efforts To Quit
Apr. 8th, 2006 06:26 pmMy mom and my brother have begun the process of quitting smoking. I'm proud of them, but I feel a little odd, because I'm not feeling a desire to join them.
They both had 3-pack-a-day habits. I can't imagine squeezing that many cigarettes into a day, but somehow they did. They're taking the slow and steady route, gradually cutting down more and more, and eventually will be integrating the patch. They're both down to 1-pack-a-day now. They've reduced their cigarette consumption by two-thirds. That's an amazing milestone, especially for my mother, who has smoked for 55 years. In time they'll be working down to zero.
I've only ever smoked about 15-16 cigarettes (or cloves) a day, which is three-quarters of one pack. I never would have considered that to be "light" smoking, but apparently it's designated as such, and some people suck down 4 or even 5 packs a day (I can't imagine that). A few years ago I was marched out of a doctor's office for requesting Wellbutrin, and informed that at only 15 cigs a day I don't have a chemical addiction but a behavioral one like nail biting or hair twirling, and that I could damn well pull up my socks and apply some self-discipline to quit -- no Wellbutrin. Fuck him. I went outside and lit right up. I only wanted to quit because someone I was dating required it, anyway. (Fuck him, too.)
In a few months time my mom and brother will have surpassed me and will be smoking less than me, and then eventually not smoking at all. I'm very proud of them, but I don't know how it will feel to me, or if it will affect me in any particular way.
Though it's a light habit, smoking is a part of who I am. It's the one anachronistic thing in my otherwise progressive makeup. I don't "hate myself every time I light a cigarette" and I wouldn't "give anything to quit." It's a choice, plain and simple. I go outside, and I enjoy it very much.
I can see cutting down to only 5 cigs a day, and would like that. But I simply can't see tobacco use completely eliminated from my life. I haven't even done anything about my desire to be a female pipe smoker yet. (I really mean it!). I adore the smell of pipe smoke (outdoors, of course) and want to buy an elegant little ladies pipe to smoke some of my favorite exotic tobaccos in, if I can find one.
But, I'm going to keep all of that out of my mom and brother's way and support their efforts 100%. I'm proud of them, and if their efforts can get me to cut down or inspire me to join the pipe faction instead, all the better.
They both had 3-pack-a-day habits. I can't imagine squeezing that many cigarettes into a day, but somehow they did. They're taking the slow and steady route, gradually cutting down more and more, and eventually will be integrating the patch. They're both down to 1-pack-a-day now. They've reduced their cigarette consumption by two-thirds. That's an amazing milestone, especially for my mother, who has smoked for 55 years. In time they'll be working down to zero.
I've only ever smoked about 15-16 cigarettes (or cloves) a day, which is three-quarters of one pack. I never would have considered that to be "light" smoking, but apparently it's designated as such, and some people suck down 4 or even 5 packs a day (I can't imagine that). A few years ago I was marched out of a doctor's office for requesting Wellbutrin, and informed that at only 15 cigs a day I don't have a chemical addiction but a behavioral one like nail biting or hair twirling, and that I could damn well pull up my socks and apply some self-discipline to quit -- no Wellbutrin. Fuck him. I went outside and lit right up. I only wanted to quit because someone I was dating required it, anyway. (Fuck him, too.)
In a few months time my mom and brother will have surpassed me and will be smoking less than me, and then eventually not smoking at all. I'm very proud of them, but I don't know how it will feel to me, or if it will affect me in any particular way.
Though it's a light habit, smoking is a part of who I am. It's the one anachronistic thing in my otherwise progressive makeup. I don't "hate myself every time I light a cigarette" and I wouldn't "give anything to quit." It's a choice, plain and simple. I go outside, and I enjoy it very much.
I can see cutting down to only 5 cigs a day, and would like that. But I simply can't see tobacco use completely eliminated from my life. I haven't even done anything about my desire to be a female pipe smoker yet. (I really mean it!). I adore the smell of pipe smoke (outdoors, of course) and want to buy an elegant little ladies pipe to smoke some of my favorite exotic tobaccos in, if I can find one.
But, I'm going to keep all of that out of my mom and brother's way and support their efforts 100%. I'm proud of them, and if their efforts can get me to cut down or inspire me to join the pipe faction instead, all the better.