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Diesel, Auditions, Standing Womb Only
May. 17th, 2006 11:00 amI had a wee wedge of time yesterday to stop into Diesel and say hello to friends at the PolyBoston meetup, following the vile Herald article. I was relieved to see no creepy gawkers (nor hear about any) and that everyone was safe and enjoying a nice evening. Had a much-too-brief visit with peeps who I miss madly, then regretfully had to disengage myself from teh goodness to dash off to auditions.
*****
Auditions: this was only the first night, and already I could cast my play three times over. All my life I have perpetually and habitually cast plays/movies in my head, but this is my first time doing it for real, and there are emotions connected to it that I didn't anticipate and do not like one tiny bit. As an actor, I know well the heartbreak of not getting chosen. As a neophyte director with multiple actors who would each be equally outstanding in the roles, how (the fuck) do I choose who to give that experience to? The knowledge that I'm going to have to say no to perfectly qualified and talented actors is sitting very heavy on me right now. I'm quite certain there will be tears on my part before this is over. But I took this task because, as an actor, I feel it's important after all these years that I get a deeper understanding of theatrical creation from the director's perspective. Hard, this.
*****
So heya, I'm pre-pregnant! My mom will be so happy. No matter that my potential bundle of joy would likely have three heads and spina-biffa-tarda-touretta-siamese-syndro-itis, that bundle's health is more important than my own. And in case you didn't get the memo, you're a walking womb or sperm-bank, too. Part of me can't fathom that this is really happening, and that it's not just sci-fi that I read somewhere. And I have to wonder who the folic acid industry is in bed with.
*****
Auditions: this was only the first night, and already I could cast my play three times over. All my life I have perpetually and habitually cast plays/movies in my head, but this is my first time doing it for real, and there are emotions connected to it that I didn't anticipate and do not like one tiny bit. As an actor, I know well the heartbreak of not getting chosen. As a neophyte director with multiple actors who would each be equally outstanding in the roles, how (the fuck) do I choose who to give that experience to? The knowledge that I'm going to have to say no to perfectly qualified and talented actors is sitting very heavy on me right now. I'm quite certain there will be tears on my part before this is over. But I took this task because, as an actor, I feel it's important after all these years that I get a deeper understanding of theatrical creation from the director's perspective. Hard, this.
*****
So heya, I'm pre-pregnant! My mom will be so happy. No matter that my potential bundle of joy would likely have three heads and spina-biffa-tarda-touretta-siamese-syndro-itis, that bundle's health is more important than my own. And in case you didn't get the memo, you're a walking womb or sperm-bank, too. Part of me can't fathom that this is really happening, and that it's not just sci-fi that I read somewhere. And I have to wonder who the folic acid industry is in bed with.