Thank you for flying Air Insanity

Lets take a look in my purse and see what exactly would be confiscated by airport security:

Moisturizer
Sunscreen
Hand sanitizer
Nail polish
Hairspray
Mascara
Lighters(2)
Lip balm
Fragrance oil
Gum with squirty centers

Not much left in there! I wonder if they'd take away this wrapped lubricated condom, since lube is definitely a hijacking tool. Maybe they'd take away my keys, since I could put them between my fisted fingers and skwatch their eyes out.

And how about the gel bra thing? So they'd denude me of my Hello Kitty Jelly Boobie Sling? (Actually, wish I had one.) What I want to know is how they're going to check for that. There's no walk-thru detector for gel. "Okay ladies, blouses off, line up by the wall, and pepare to unbuckle when instructed!" Maybe I'd just go braless, in a white T-shirt, after standing under the cold AC vent, so I could assault them with laser highbeams of death.

Speaking of breasts, how very generous of them to allow breast milk. I can just see all the mothers having to bend over hazmat barrels, emptying their breasts of dangerous milk.

I love traveling, but I'm almost glad I can't afford to right now. Amtrak will be getting my business in December if this nonsense isn't over by then, and maybe even if it is. If you think you've never seen a first-hand example of mass hysteria, whoomp there it is.

My Interests Collage

( This is freaking awesome! My Interests Collage )