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The Old Paper Journal
Oct. 31st, 2007 04:13 pmAt my going-away party before moving to Boston in 1994, the girls at the coffee house where I worked gave me a lovely paper journal, knowing that I liked to write. I was never a good journal keeper, on paper. I brought the journal with me to Boston, and the first entry is in October of 1996. I wrote in it once or twice a year through the mid-to-late 90s, usually when I was feeling blue.
As I was moving books from my bedroom shelf to the new living room shelves today, the journal surfaced among a bottom row of books I hadn't touched in years. I read through the entries, thinking about everything that happened in the wide gaps of time between them. Here was the entry from Halloween Night, 1996, 11 years ago:
10/31/1996
Halloween night. I'm at home watching "The Shining," though I know better than to watch scary movies by myself. I was invited to a party at Peter Panic's house, but it's a long, cold walk getting there. I did some mending, and am feeling what it's like to spend a holiday in spinster fashion. Some friends called at 11:00 insisting that I come to a party, but they never showed up as promised to get me. Wild teenagers filled the park next door, doing things I did at that age. I'm living the lifestyle of a 60-year-old these days.
Sad times, those were. I was 32, homesick for my old life in Rochester, not adjusting well to Boston. I remember what it was like feeling that I had no reason to believe I would ever, ever get ahead in life, or find a place for myself.
It's 11 years to the day since I wrote that. It's a good day to give thanks for the places life's path has steered me in the years since. I don't have to live like a 60-year-old anymore, and in fact, I hope at 60 I'll be living like a spry 40-year-old. I have a wonderful family of friends, I have the family that is Theatre@First/PMRP, I have my darling![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
beowabbit, and more. And, we have closing night of our Halloween show tonight, with dancing afterward.
The most recent entry in the paper journal was in June of 2001. I should make an entry for today.
As I was moving books from my bedroom shelf to the new living room shelves today, the journal surfaced among a bottom row of books I hadn't touched in years. I read through the entries, thinking about everything that happened in the wide gaps of time between them. Here was the entry from Halloween Night, 1996, 11 years ago:
10/31/1996
Halloween night. I'm at home watching "The Shining," though I know better than to watch scary movies by myself. I was invited to a party at Peter Panic's house, but it's a long, cold walk getting there. I did some mending, and am feeling what it's like to spend a holiday in spinster fashion. Some friends called at 11:00 insisting that I come to a party, but they never showed up as promised to get me. Wild teenagers filled the park next door, doing things I did at that age. I'm living the lifestyle of a 60-year-old these days.
Sad times, those were. I was 32, homesick for my old life in Rochester, not adjusting well to Boston. I remember what it was like feeling that I had no reason to believe I would ever, ever get ahead in life, or find a place for myself.
It's 11 years to the day since I wrote that. It's a good day to give thanks for the places life's path has steered me in the years since. I don't have to live like a 60-year-old anymore, and in fact, I hope at 60 I'll be living like a spry 40-year-old. I have a wonderful family of friends, I have the family that is Theatre@First/PMRP, I have my darling
beowabbit, and more. And, we have closing night of our Halloween show tonight, with dancing afterward. The most recent entry in the paper journal was in June of 2001. I should make an entry for today.