No, I don't feel you're challenging me at all. It is a legitimate question.
I do, however, feel that may be too narrow a lens to view eHarmony (or any other dating site) through. After all, what is the goal of any Internet dating site? If we lower the bar from marriage to just creating a relationship, however fleeting, then by the same logic, any dating site has failed that doesn't grant each and every member such.
From actually using the site, I'm not sure I felt any undo emphasis on marriage. I also never felt any bigotry or discrimination. Of course, I passed their heterosexual filter :/ All the women I met were as liberal or more liberal than I. I do like the format and do like the pacing. I like to say the parts of eHarmony are much greater than the whole.
It is hard to specifically put into words, but the majority of women I met there just seemed to be more serious (read: adult) about finding a committed relationship -- to focus on marriage still puts the cart way (way, way) before the horse.
And after using the site, I had a few relationships that lasted several (3 or more) dates, and one long-term committed relationship that lasted just under a year. Contrast this to OkCupid!, where three female friends and I sat around a week ago trying to think of whether we ever had a second date. And OKC has a very different "angle" than eHarmony. That doesn't mean I didn't use OKC -- I just used it for something entirely different.
Internet dating can lead to marriage. My sister met her husband on jDate, and a friend from taekwondo met her husband on Match. But so can riding the T, going grocery shopping, and even going to a pickup bar. I imagine even using OKC can work. I just felt that for myself, having defined "working" as a serious, committed relationship, eHarmony worked the most.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I think you're thinking of http://www.russianbrides.com/ :-)
Date: 2009-04-12 06:14 pm (UTC)I do, however, feel that may be too narrow a lens to view eHarmony (or any other dating site) through. After all, what is the goal of any Internet dating site? If we lower the bar from marriage to just creating a relationship, however fleeting, then by the same logic, any dating site has failed that doesn't grant each and every member such.
From actually using the site, I'm not sure I felt any undo emphasis on marriage. I also never felt any bigotry or discrimination. Of course, I passed their heterosexual filter :/ All the women I met were as liberal or more liberal than I. I do like the format and do like the pacing. I like to say the parts of eHarmony are much greater than the whole.
It is hard to specifically put into words, but the majority of women I met there just seemed to be more serious (read: adult) about finding a committed relationship -- to focus on marriage still puts the cart way (way, way) before the horse.
And after using the site, I had a few relationships that lasted several (3 or more) dates, and one long-term committed relationship that lasted just under a year. Contrast this to OkCupid!, where three female friends and I sat around a week ago trying to think of whether we ever had a second date. And OKC has a very different "angle" than eHarmony. That doesn't mean I didn't use OKC -- I just used it for something entirely different.
Internet dating can lead to marriage. My sister met her husband on jDate, and a friend from taekwondo met her husband on Match. But so can riding the T, going grocery shopping, and even going to a pickup bar. I imagine even using OKC can work. I just felt that for myself, having defined "working" as a serious, committed relationship, eHarmony worked the most.