(no subject)

[plumtreeblossom]

It's frightening how one tiny bit of information, from an innocent and unknowing stranger, can plummet a week-long upswing of the spirit into black pain again. I hate this feeling. Hate being this sensitive, hate wounds that won't heal no matter how much fucking effort and energy I put into it.

I have to fight the pain this time. Not let it swallow me and very nearly kill me like before. I've lived boldly this past month, risen up bringing a lot of happiness and hope to a lot of people. Is there none for me, then? Will I keep feeling this pencil stab in the eye for the rest of my life?

I have to fight the pain back down into its hole, push it back under so I can keep going and keep giving.

Comments

[lillibet.livejournal.com]

I don't have anything but hugs to offer, but I'm thinking a great big hug at you and hoping that helps the tiniest little amount.

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

It does help, Elizabeth. You've been one of the most positive influences to come into my life this year, and I adfmire you in so many ways. Getting to work with you in the theatre and being your friend is a very big help, believe me.

[lillibet.livejournal.com]

Aw, shucks.