Dating Meta
Apr. 7th, 2006 11:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
plumtreeblossomI'm getting very mixed signals from A, and I don't like it.
What's happening is this: About once a week, he sends an e-mail or voicemail wanting to see me, oh-so-badly see me, misses me, yadda yadda. But he's been consistantly declining every date suggestion I make. 3 date suggestions in a row, just this week, have been declined. Then last night at 10:30 PM (a school night, mind you) he left a tipsy sounding voicemail missing me so very much, wanting me to come down to Christopher's grill right then and there (ironically, I had just been at Christopher's an hour earlier for dinner with Daniel and Matt).
One thing I am not in the market for is a compartmentalized at-his-convenience relationship wedged into his occasional last-minute windows of time.
I'm also not willing to settle for a weeknight-only relationship. He never has availability on the weekends. But weekends are when I do my dating. I have to be up at 5:30 AM or 6:00 AM for work every weekday, which precludes late nights out except on weekends. For that same reason, I don't do mid-week overnights (unless I'm living with said lover). I want companionship on weekends, when my time is free and my energy abundant. He says he always has prior plans with friends on the weekends, but he never invites me along.
For weeks now, I've been telling myself to write him off and that "He's Just Not That Into Me." But then come the calls/e-mails, regaling my shining beauty, longing to see and hold me, etc. Then I'm ignored when I suggest a date. Does this man have split personality disorder?
My mom strongly believes he is married. I don't usually take her dating advice because she's been off the dating scene for 30 years, but I'm starting to wonder if, this once, she might be right...
If A wants to continue seeing me, he has got to:
1) Make some time for me on weekends
2) Answer my e-mails and accept at least some of my date suggestions
3) Not treat me like a service he can order last-minute at his whim
My responsibility in this is to communicate these feelings clearly to him. I just wrote it out here to get it straight in my head before speaking to him.
What's happening is this: About once a week, he sends an e-mail or voicemail wanting to see me, oh-so-badly see me, misses me, yadda yadda. But he's been consistantly declining every date suggestion I make. 3 date suggestions in a row, just this week, have been declined. Then last night at 10:30 PM (a school night, mind you) he left a tipsy sounding voicemail missing me so very much, wanting me to come down to Christopher's grill right then and there (ironically, I had just been at Christopher's an hour earlier for dinner with Daniel and Matt).
One thing I am not in the market for is a compartmentalized at-his-convenience relationship wedged into his occasional last-minute windows of time.
I'm also not willing to settle for a weeknight-only relationship. He never has availability on the weekends. But weekends are when I do my dating. I have to be up at 5:30 AM or 6:00 AM for work every weekday, which precludes late nights out except on weekends. For that same reason, I don't do mid-week overnights (unless I'm living with said lover). I want companionship on weekends, when my time is free and my energy abundant. He says he always has prior plans with friends on the weekends, but he never invites me along.
For weeks now, I've been telling myself to write him off and that "He's Just Not That Into Me." But then come the calls/e-mails, regaling my shining beauty, longing to see and hold me, etc. Then I'm ignored when I suggest a date. Does this man have split personality disorder?
My mom strongly believes he is married. I don't usually take her dating advice because she's been off the dating scene for 30 years, but I'm starting to wonder if, this once, she might be right...
If A wants to continue seeing me, he has got to:
1) Make some time for me on weekends
2) Answer my e-mails and accept at least some of my date suggestions
3) Not treat me like a service he can order last-minute at his whim
My responsibility in this is to communicate these feelings clearly to him. I just wrote it out here to get it straight in my head before speaking to him.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-07 08:58 pm (UTC)Wanting to see him at a mutually convenient time is not too tall an order.
worse case scenario: He's married or in a relationship.
best case scenario: he's just a selfish weenie who wants a relationship on his time.
Either way, ew.
If it helps, I think I've date the scruffy, pseudo poet 20 something version of this guy before. It did not end well. Women like men like this at first because they seem able to show their emotions, but that doesn't end up to be worth a damn in the end if he's not considerate of yours.
men can be so fucking entitled sometimes.
Okay, rant over.