Posts That Never Made It

[plumtreeblossom]

This journal is an edited work. Because entertaining through writing is probably my strongest creative talent, and is a medium through which I can Give Back, I tend to post only that which I believe my readership will find entertaining on some level. Even my rants are written with an entertainment spin. Nonetheless, there are countless times throughout the day when little mundane things give me an urge to post, when I know it's neither interesting nor unique in the slightest. I routinely reign it in, because chances are it's something nobody wants to hear about.

To give you an idea, here are some head-only posts from the last few days that I didn't write:

MY SOCK DRAWER IS LIKE A BAD SINGLES MIXER WHERE NO ONE IS A MATCH FOR ANYONE

THE FOETID, DROOLING SOW IN THE OFFICE CAFETERIA

DON'T IGNORE PENIS ENLARGEMENT SPAM -- REPLY

MY BASEMENT IS HAUNTED

HOOTENANNY DIDN'T HAVE ANY CHECKERBOARD SKIRTS

TWO CATS ON A PIZZA BOX IS TOO MANY

I LOVE THOSE SKINNY PENCIL BEARDS ON GUYS

I WANT TO ATTRACT MORE BATS TO THE HOUSE



I mean, if someone wanted to hear about any, I'd give it forth. But they just didn't seem like the right thing to do...

Comments

[vanguardcdk.livejournal.com]

Does the ghost in the basement pay rent too? ;)

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

Dude, I don't know how you can go down there after dark for laundry. That unlit back area where the breaker is -- seriously Blair Witch. There's some bad energy down there. You couldn't pay me enough to go to that back wall by myself. My biggest house fear is that the fuse will blow at night when you're not here. I'd basically light candles and sit up all night until you got home or until I could get a downstairs person to go with me.

[a-chara.livejournal.com]

all sounds good to me! I want to hear about the basement haunting.

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

That's about it in the above reply to my roomie. I haven't actually seen anything, I just get a really spooky vibe down there, so that I'm counting the seconds until I can run back up the stairs. It's decrepit and perpetually wet, and very dark. The one lightbulb doesn't light the back, so you have to use a flashlight to go to the breaker box. Correction -- someone else has to go to the breaker box, not me. I'm quite certain there's a severed head in it or something.

[hammercock.livejournal.com]

Bats are cool!

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

We need more! We have extra mosquitos because of the flat garage roof that holds standing water in the summer. I want more bats to roost here and eat the skeeters. Plus, as you say, they're just cool.

[oneagain.livejournal.com]

You are kidding, right? You do not actually think these headliners are not entertaining, do you?

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

Hee!

[quilla.livejournal.com]

first one is AWESOME. second one is my favourite. i don't even need the story behind it. it's just so... deliciously vitriolic. AND you spelt foetid with the "o". this all makes me happy and vastly amused.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_guitarzan_/]

HAHAHA Love the Gefilte Fish icon! Oy Vey!

[saturn939.livejournal.com]

I want to hear about spam and beards!

-Dej

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

OK, I'll do actual posts of those!

Places I am so with you

[alfie1981.livejournal.com]

Re: Sock Drawers

Last time I did laundry, I had 14 unmated socks. I own one pair of white socks, so this means I have been wearing combinations like "monkey and ladybug," or "sheep and argyle".

Re: Haunted Basements

My roommate and I will not go into our basement if the other is not home. One of us has to stay at the top of the stairs while the other goes down in case there is screaming, in order to...I don't know...slam the door and run away quickly?