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plumtreeblossomI've been getting the same male sexual enhancement spam over and over, with different subject lines and different excerpts at the end from angsty Russian novels.
Our Heroine replies:
xcii palazzos God be with you!
1) Would you like to have an unbelievable sex during all the night?
Yes, but just the one. I work during all the day.
2) Wanna be the first on her list?
It would depend on which list. I'm pretty certain I'm already high on most straight girl's "Not Doable" list. And that's our target market here, right? But I trust that you can help me change that. Lets keep going...
3) Are you dreaming about her friends beating your time?
Constantly! Wow, you read me like a book! Especially her red-headed friend. I don't know her name, but she could beat my time like a rented mule through all the night!
4) Wanna her making all your dreams come true in bed?
Not the dreams about being behind the wheel on some surreal freeway, or the ones about going to school naked, or the one where I had to have sex with my 70-year-old boss in the White House because of a Presidential order, but the White House was actually my mom's house and she had a herd of deer for house pets.
5) Would you like to hear from the babes 'he was the best man in my life?'
Well, I hear it every day in my e-mail when I get this spam, so maybe the babes could think of something else to tell me.
Keep in mind -- your hypersexuality doesn't depend n the size of your penis,
Whew, good to know! Confidentially, I'm hung like a field mouse. And these pesky breasts... it's really embarassing, but I have to wear a bra. Good to know I can still satisfy all those size queens out there!
it depends on ability to keep it's hard-on up to several hours. And that's the way to deliver the best orgasm to her.
Really? I've always delivered it UPS, but it's never worked. I even tried delivering it to myself and didn't get off. I was thinking of trying overnight FedEx, but if your pill will really do all that, I'm saving my postage! One bottle, please!
Our Heroine replies:
xcii palazzos God be with you!
1) Would you like to have an unbelievable sex during all the night?
Yes, but just the one. I work during all the day.
2) Wanna be the first on her list?
It would depend on which list. I'm pretty certain I'm already high on most straight girl's "Not Doable" list. And that's our target market here, right? But I trust that you can help me change that. Lets keep going...
3) Are you dreaming about her friends beating your time?
Constantly! Wow, you read me like a book! Especially her red-headed friend. I don't know her name, but she could beat my time like a rented mule through all the night!
4) Wanna her making all your dreams come true in bed?
Not the dreams about being behind the wheel on some surreal freeway, or the ones about going to school naked, or the one where I had to have sex with my 70-year-old boss in the White House because of a Presidential order, but the White House was actually my mom's house and she had a herd of deer for house pets.
5) Would you like to hear from the babes 'he was the best man in my life?'
Well, I hear it every day in my e-mail when I get this spam, so maybe the babes could think of something else to tell me.
Keep in mind -- your hypersexuality doesn't depend n the size of your penis,
Whew, good to know! Confidentially, I'm hung like a field mouse. And these pesky breasts... it's really embarassing, but I have to wear a bra. Good to know I can still satisfy all those size queens out there!
it depends on ability to keep it's hard-on up to several hours. And that's the way to deliver the best orgasm to her.
Really? I've always delivered it UPS, but it's never worked. I even tried delivering it to myself and didn't get off. I was thinking of trying overnight FedEx, but if your pill will really do all that, I'm saving my postage! One bottle, please!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-05-22 05:07 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-05-22 05:19 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-05-22 05:25 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-05-22 05:28 pm (UTC)*hides*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-05-23 06:07 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-05-23 03:41 pm (UTC)"What were you talking about?" he said, knitting his brows, and turning his scared eyes from one to the other. "What was it?" "Oh, nothing," Konstantin answered in confusion. "Oh, if you don't want to say, don't. Only it's no good your talking to her. She's a wench, and you're a gentleman," he said with a jerk of the neck. "You understand everything, I see, and have taken stock of everything, and look with commiseration on my shortcomings," he began again, raising his voice. "Nikolay Dmitrievitch, Nikolay Dmitrievitch," whispered Marya Nikolaevna, again going up to him. "Oh, very well, very well!... But where's the supper? Ah, here it is," he said, seeing a waiter with a tray. "Here, set it here," he added angrily, and promptly seizing the vodka, he poured out a glassful and drank it greedily. "Like a drink?" he turned to his brother, and at once became better humored. "Well, enough of Sergey Ivanovitch. I'm glad to see you, anyway. After all's said and done, we're not strangers. Come, have a drink. Tell me what you're doing," he went on, greedily munching a piece of bread, and pouring out another glassful. "How are you living?"
haaaaa! also, the text in your comment box gets smaller and smaller every day. huh.