(no subject)

[plumtreeblossom]

HE SAID...

My brother called last night.
My younger brother,
who has become
my older brother.

He didn’t intend to hurt me,
but he thought I should know
how I am being perceived in the family;
what is being said.

In this family
validation comes only through
who you are married to
and what you own.

Sources of pride to me --
theatre, travel, the romance of living --
are sources of embarrassment to them.
Indicators of a perennially suspected insanity.

They don’t understand
why I have not, and will not,
enter into some loveless marriage of convenience
as they each have.

“Marry anyone,” he implored.
“Why is love so damn important to you?
There are more important reasons
to marry.”

No.
There is no other reason, for me.
I tell him so,
and thus I continue as persona non grata.

My head hurts.
But it's only the beginning.

Comments

[gilana]

Wow. I'm really sorry to hear that. Hugs, from one strong happy single woman to another.

[androidqueen.livejournal.com]

KICK HIS ASS.

kick all their asses.

jesus. it sucks when family doesn't accept you for what you are. you know, they're supposed to support you no matter what, but they just don't always get it. props to you for sticking to your guns.

[kalisti23.livejournal.com]

Are they Amish or just dumb?

[lillibet.livejournal.com]

I know it may sound glib, but remember that they have to be them and you get to be you. I often find that one helps when being judged by other people's standards.

[jmspencer.livejournal.com]

::hugs::

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for the hugs and support, everybody. This ongoing situation is the reason friendships and sense of community are so critical to me, and you all are wonderful friends for whom I'm very grateful.

[muffyjo]

Mare, you are not your family. You are you. And you are terrific. You can't divorce them, but you can know that you are a wonderful and whole human being, you are EVERYTHING you need to be. Among the many things you value, don't let self-loathing be among them. Don't value yourself less because you value your family's opinion more.

Love them, accept that they are different, and know that they love you as best they can. Then keep going, you are doing terrific things with your life. Surprisingly enough, NOT having a partner in your life is also ok. We come into this world alone and we leave it alone. Anything in between, is simply an adventure. Having a partner can make it fun, but don't ever let that notion limit you from the things you think you can do.

[muffyjo]

And when the time comes, remind me to take my own advice.