Observing Boundaries Between The Lines

[plumtreeblossom]

I'm sitting here thinking about when a reply in e-mail or voicemail is concluded with "Hope this helps."

What it usually really means is "This is absolutely all I'm going to do for you on this matter, do not ask anything additional of me regarding it, do not even CC me on your continued search for a solution because I have no further assistance to offer you."

EXAMPLE:

Q: "Hey, would you have a list of every Indian restaurant in the city, with addresses, phone numbers, and websites? I'm planning a tasting tour for some friends. I think there are like 40."

A: "I have the websites for 3, attached in a spreadsheet. Hope this helps."

Comments

[mistergoat.livejournal.com]

Ya think? I sometimes use it in e-mails when I really don't know if what I'm offering will be helpful. Sometimes I'll tack on a "Let me know if you have further questions," but not always, even if I don't mean to close it off.

[androidqueen.livejournal.com]

Agreed. That's an awfully cynical take. I frequently say it because I genuinely hope it will help.

[ron_newman]

I think it means "I have no idea if this is really helpful, but it might be."

[vanguardcdk.livejournal.com]

I use that phrase every now and then and with me it means:

"That's what I know, I'm not sure if it was really helpful or not. I'll be happily surprised if it was".

No negativity implied...

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

I think I might be the one using it the way I describe above. At work, someone asked me something that required some exhaustive research (not the example above, but of similar magnitude). I did what research I reasonably could in the time available, and when I sent the resulting data with a "Hope this helps" at the end, what I really meant was "While I do genuinely hope that the answer I supplied helps, I do not wish to be further involved in the matter and am not volunteering to be so, and in fact would kindly appreciate being taken out of the loop."

[chienne-folle.livejournal.com]

Yep, this is what I mean by it.

[crs.livejournal.com]

Usually I say it in a fit of sarcasm. Example: "You misspelled totalitarian state. Hope this helps."

[kalliejenn2.livejournal.com]

generally when i end up typing that it means something along the lines of "your question was really irritating and ill thought out, and i'm really hoping this answers your question so i don't have to hear from you again"

[desireearmfeldt]

It can be polite speak for "This is all I'm giving you."

But it can also mean "I don't know if this is actually the thing you need, but it's the best I could come up with." Sometimes that means "and I don't have any other way to help you if it wasn't what you needed," sometimes it means "we can keep trying to figure out what you actually wanted."

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

I guess it's just me, but I tend to read it as a declaration of a boundary, establishing that all available help has now been offered, but none further is offered nor should be requested. Probably because I've used it that way myself, and I'm projecting. :-)

[beowabbit]

But it can also mean "I don't know if this is actually the thing you need, but it's the best I could come up with."

Yeah, that’s basically how I would use and/or read it.

[thesynergizer.livejournal.com]

i say it when i'm offering advice that i'm not sure the other person will listen to or wants to hear.

[surrealestate.livejournal.com]

It's been used so much in a snarky context, that I habitually read it that way these days and sometimes have to correct myself because I realize the author was in fact being honestly helpful. I try to avoid using it myself for the same reason, at least not without an accessory phrase that makes my intentions clear.

HTH. HAND!

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

HTH. *snerk* :-)

Huh.

[marius23.livejournal.com]

I'm a bit surprised at the variance in meaning for such a short phrase, but then, unless I'm really pissed/frustrated, I tend not to be on the snarky/cynical end of the spectrum.

I most commonly use "Hope this helps and let me know if you have any further questions." When I do use this phrase, it's often when my response is either not necessarily an exact answer to the question asked (often because there is detail lacking in the question) or when my response is fairly terse/compressed. So "hope this helps" means either, "hope this helps for your specific problem" or "hope you understood my answer." "Further questions" leaves it open to either clarify the question or my answer.

If I do want to indicate that I'm done, I'll usually say along the lines of "sorry I couldn't help (further)", which could mean either "you've reached my limit in terms of knowledge or effort" or "I'm sorry you're a clueless moron incapable of understanding what would be clear to the most casual observer". (See above for when that meaning tends to apply.)

Re: Huh.

[thorbol.livejournal.com]

I'm also surprised at the variety of hidden meanings. When I write "hope this helps," I really do. If I want the contact to end, I'll say in some way that I probably can't help any more. (Not that I'm necessarily sure I helped in the first place!) I think I'm a presumptive literalist in using the language, especially with people I don't know well: I can't know what meanings await me like land mines.

[ron_newman]

The ambiguity expressed by all the earlier replies suggests that if you really mean what you said in the second paragraph above, you should probably say more explicitly (but more nicely). Something like "I wish I had time to research this further, but this is all the information I have right now."

[dpolicar]

I wouldn't quite go _that_far. But, yeah, I use "Hope this helps" often to mean "Notice how I'm _not_ saying: 'If you have any further questions, give me a call'?"

[chienne-folle.livejournal.com]

Geeze. I usually take people at face value unless they're behaving in a way that makes me think there's something hidden going on. So I usually assume that "hope this helps" means "hope this helps." It would never occur to me that it might mean "i don't like your question, and I don't like you, and I don't want you help you, you slime." :-)

[epilimnion.livejournal.com]

I use and interpret "hope this helps" more literally as well. Sometimes when I use it, it's with an implication of "this is the best I can do for you right now, hope it helps." Over the years, I've become better at being more straightforward about my limits when someone asks me to do a long involved task that I don't have the time or resources available for. I directly ask about deadlines and let the person know how long it would take me.

[noire.livejournal.com]

????
It never even occurred to me that "hope this helps" would mean "and don't expect anything else from me."

I use (and generally read) "hope this helps" to mean:
1) I am not entirely clear on the information you want--this is what I *think* you mean.
2) I am not an expert in the area so I'm not sure if my cursory answer is useful or has enough depth.
3) You appear to have lots of good information already, so I'm not sure that what I have to add really does improve the quality of what you've already gathered, but I sure hope so!

Maybe I'm naive?

[chienne-folle.livejournal.com]

Maybe I'm naive?

Nope. It looks like most of the people on this thread use it more or less as you do, in a non-snarky way.

[spwebdesign.livejournal.com]

Wow, I was shocked at both your post and some of the responses. I have never used "hope this helps" to mean anything but "hope this helps," and I have never interpreted someone else's "hope this helps" to mean anything but. If someone wants to communicate something else, why not simply say it? Communication is tricky enough without being obfuscated with such assumptions and contradictions, especially written communication.