Leverage Your Interface With My Sweet Spot

[plumtreeblossom]

[Poll #1241931]

Comments

[ron_newman]

Isn't "onboarding" a form of torture prohibited by the Geneva Conventions?

[komos.livejournal.com]

Only for soldiers of recognized governments.

[hammercock.livejournal.com]

I had a hard time deciding between representments, onboarding, paradigm-shiftment, and concepting. They're all pretty bletcherous.

[ron_newman]

Not a single cromulent word among them.

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

YUPPIE!!

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

No, the earliest yuppies are in their 40s, and they're still yuppies. It's become a lifestyle choice, not a life phase. You can has yuppiehood if you want. You just have to imagineer it! :-D

[docorion.livejournal.com]

There can be no forgiveness for any of those 'words'. Hang 'em high.

[ron_newman]

'aspirational' looks pretty ordinary to me. The rest, bleh.

[smacaski.livejournal.com]

They're all incredibly hideous. My English major soul is in so much pain. Each one deserves having its speaker's entrails ripped out--and I'm volunteering to help. Remember, when Brie takes over the world, I get to be Lord High Executioner!

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

And you get to behead them using 10,000 paper cuts!

[ron_newman]

'provisioning' sounds like military-speak, providing supplies (such as food) to soldiers in the field.

[beowabbit]

I didn’t vote, because there were a half-dozen I couldn’t bear not to choose as the worst. It would be almost like saying on some planet somewhere that word might be okay.

I had a housemate in college who used to say that Adolph Coors should be imprisoned for his politics and shot for his beer. The people who use words like this should be imprisoned for their economic crimes and shot for their linguistic ones.

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

I just now encountered a new one:

Imagineering!

*dies*

[ron_newman]

that's a Disney® trademark I think

[koshmom.livejournal.com]

You forgot Synergy

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

I thought of that, but that word is also equally overused by New Agers. That's a separate poll. :-)

[ayelle.livejournal.com]

Vertically Integrated Synergy.

[koshmom.livejournal.com]

NOOOOOO!!!!!!

[(Anonymous)]

Question: What's a "paradigm"?
Answer: Twenty cents.

Of all the phoney newspeak words I have ever heard, Paradigm and Segue are in competition for first place affectation.

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

Who dat?

Paradigm is probably this decade's worst contribution the linguistic pollution. I am, however, guilty of using "segue," but not for corporate purposes. We use it in theatre a lot, where it actually makes sense.

[moonshadow.livejournal.com]

Back when I was a corporate librarian, "user-integrated interactive portal" became my least favorite buzzphrase. It's vendor-speak for "very expensive, still in beta testing."

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

"user-integrated interactive portal"

*brain splatters all over cubicle*

[moonshadow.livejournal.com]

What makes this especially funny is that it wasn't this one vendor this one time. You would not BELIEVE how many vendors were touting their packaging for the above-mentioned linguistic monstrosity, and how many times they would say the phrase in each meeting.

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

I got "value-add" from a vendor at my previous job. She would say it about once per sentence, and anything that was in any possible way positive was a value-add. One day in a group meeting with her I started making hash marks on my paper every time she said it. I was into the 20s when I had to stop and actually listen to anything else she was saying but that word.

[moonshadow.livejournal.com]

At my old job, an email circulated about buzzword bingo. The idea was that whenever a vendor came in, you could print out your own buzzword bingo card, using terms like those you mention above. Whoever first got a row was supposed to jump up and yell "Bullshit!"...

[weegoddess.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's not as glamourous as the words you mentioned, but if I see a tagline or any mention of the world 'solutions' on a website, I just go right on by. I won't give them one more minute of my attention.

[Then there's 'business solutions' and 'global solutions'...::grrr::]

[ron_newman]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[moechus.livejournal.com]

I have always thought that there is only one crime that deserves the death penalty: bad architecture because it is the only crime whose ill effects can plague society for generations.

Let me suggest an appropriate punishment (and one that fits the crime and protects society from further harm): the surgical removal of the speech and language areas of the brain.