Note To Cafe Horrible

[plumtreeblossom]

Dear Cafe Horrible,

Hope you had a great Thanksgiving! Just a few items today, I'll keep it quick:

1) Sorry, but you can't take last week's unsold apple pie slices, stuff them into plastic juice cups, top it with Cool Whip and call it a parfait. That isn't what a parfait is. Parfaits are layered and don't look like an angry toddler balled up his fist and ramrodded the pie into the cup.

2) I need to point out that you can't simply give a soup the name Vegetarian. The word vegetarian is a descriptor, not really a stand-alone name. The name needs to offer more information about the soup. I would suggest calling it what it actually is: Salad Bar Leftovers Soup. You can note in the next line below that it is vegetarian.

3) Could I get you to do me a wee favor? See, there's this blog I love to read called The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks. I really want to find a funny misuse of quotation marks to photograph and send in, but we seem to live in an area where widespread over-education makes these mistakes tragically rare and I almost never see it. Since you and I are "friends," could you maybe kick me one or two of these gems so I can contribute to this great blog? Like the chicken fingers on lettuce thing today that is called Gold Finger Salad, would be funnier if it was called Gold "Finger" Salad.

Thanks, and happy Monday!

Comments

[bkdelong.livejournal.com]

eeeg. Do I even want to know? Sounds very Yelp! worthy.

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

I don't want to get them in trouble. I do go there when the weather is too awful to go elsewhere or when I'm too busy. It's like revisiting the school cafeteria, corporate style.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_mattt/]

It sounds like they are trying to get themselves in trouble. Egads that's awful.

[gravitrue.livejournal.com]

perhaps anonymous mail addressed to the management would help?

[surrealestate.livejournal.com]

Heehee!

I look forward to your commentary tonight at "dinner".

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

I think "dinner" will be "tastier." :-)

[docorion.livejournal.com]

Yes, the word vegetarian *is* a descriptor. In this context, I would assume the soup was made from some sort of herbivore. Possibly a bipedal one, you never know.

What?! If 'vegetarians' only eat vegetables, what do 'humanitarians' eat?