Oh Baby

[plumtreeblossom]

For surrealestate (and anyone else who wants childcare edu-ma-cation):

Baby Instructions

Comments

[surrealestate.livejournal.com]

Hah! I love the "Fun Games for Baby" one especially (and I'd kill for a version with a Scrabble board ;).

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

I like the diaper checking one. :-)

[thesynergizer.livejournal.com]

sadly, thats one of the ones that actually happen in real life. sometimes its dark and 3 a.m. and you know that if you turned on a light baby would think YAY MORNING PLAYTIME YAY! so you do what you gotta do ... do

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

Couldn't you just sniff it?


*Mare does not like poop*

[thesynergizer.livejournal.com]

oh absolutely! this is post sniff. sometimes the sniff test is innaccurate, such as in the case of a lot of gas. let me tell you, nothing like turning on the light at 3 a.m. getting the wipes and a new diaper ready, having baby be COMEPLETELY AWAKE and then discovering said diaper contained no poop after all.

in fact, most of the times this check is performed, its BECAUSE you are pretty sure the diaper is fine. but if you were to be wrong, and baby's butt was raw and wounded the next morning, you'd feel like a heel (not that this has ever happened either)

so the hand check is just, oh its probably just gas, but just in case, better make sure ... 9 times out of 10, it was just gas. and that 10th time? gross yes, but dude, there isn't a parent in this universe that made it through babyhood and OMG TODDLERHOOD without getting poop on their hands at one point or another. you get used to it :-) that's what soap is for

[bedfull-o-books.livejournal.com]

Hah! I've seen a couple of these printed on baby onesies. Darned if I can remember where....

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

I saw the baby-tossing one printed on a bib. I think it was at an ArtBeat table.

[smacaski.livejournal.com]

I really like the "Calming Baby" one. But, but, bourbon puts baby right to sleep!

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

My ma said it worked for me!

[bedfull-o-books.livejournal.com]

A college friend from Bolivia told me that her mother's doctor suggested putting a bit of whisky in her baby brother's bottle to help him to sleep. For real and for true. I don't think her mother followed the doctor's advice....

[thesynergizer.livejournal.com]

a lot of people swear by rubbing it directly on the baby's gums for teething ...

[trowa-barton.livejournal.com]

LOL!
I needed that.

[thesynergizer.livejournal.com]

my favorite one wasn't there, its "nursing" yes (drawing of mom nursing baby) and NO (drawing of baby latched on to dad's hairy chest)

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

surrealestate has a photo of the baby latched on to daddy's NOSE. :-)

[thesynergizer.livejournal.com]

:-) cute

[kencf0618.livejournal.com]

Until I can teach them chess, small children make me spontaneously combust. I do NOT have baby reflexes!

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

Me neither. :-)

[hammercock.livejournal.com]

*gigglesnort*