The Highs and Lows
Aug. 13th, 2005 07:40 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
plumtreeblossomYesterday stands out as unusual. Within the same 24-hour period, I received both some very good news (artistically) and some very sad news (personally).
First the good -- I landed the plum role of Mistress Quickly in Merry Wives. This is one of Shakespeare's best low-comedy leads, in the ranks with such great clown roles as Touchstone and Nick Bottom. I can't wait to sink my hands into it and start creating the role. She's a total fruit bat of the highest order and I intend to really radiate the funniness of her. Interestingly, this female role is frequently cast with a male actor in drag, and I pushed a number of men to go for it. But they preferred to stay on the boys' side of the wardrobe rack, so only women read for the role. Now I'm glad. :-)
As I was saying to someone last night, when I was a younger actress I often had a tough time getting major roles because although I was of ingenue age, I was never ingenue type. I played a lot of quirky supporting roles like prostitutes, southern loud-mouths, hugely pregnant women, teenage sluts, and goofy roles in musicals. But now I'm at the age where a lot more meatier roles are opening up to me. I think this is going to be a good decade for me and acting. And it's starting right now.
Without going into too much detail, someone who I thought was a good friend has officially severed me from his life. It's for a reason that is 100% untrue, and it appears I'm very falsely perceived as a threatening presence to his romantic relationship. If it were true I wouldn't feel so hurt, but it's not. I never even knew the relationship existed until a couple of weeks ago, and I would never do anything to damage his happiness in it. So, last night instead of falling asleep excited about the play, I laid awake half the night feeling like the burnt bridge that I am. I won't pretend I don't miss our friendship, and that I'm not crushingly hurt. To have my friendship wadded up like old paper and tossed on the trash heap is profoundly painful. I hope no one ever treats him like that, and that he never has to experience what it feels like.
So, life brings the bad and the good, sometimes all at once. It was a day of huge highs and lows, and I'm grateful for the many good friends I do have. Time to concentrate on the happy things, and get ready for a great Shakespeare experience.
First the good -- I landed the plum role of Mistress Quickly in Merry Wives. This is one of Shakespeare's best low-comedy leads, in the ranks with such great clown roles as Touchstone and Nick Bottom. I can't wait to sink my hands into it and start creating the role. She's a total fruit bat of the highest order and I intend to really radiate the funniness of her. Interestingly, this female role is frequently cast with a male actor in drag, and I pushed a number of men to go for it. But they preferred to stay on the boys' side of the wardrobe rack, so only women read for the role. Now I'm glad. :-)
As I was saying to someone last night, when I was a younger actress I often had a tough time getting major roles because although I was of ingenue age, I was never ingenue type. I played a lot of quirky supporting roles like prostitutes, southern loud-mouths, hugely pregnant women, teenage sluts, and goofy roles in musicals. But now I'm at the age where a lot more meatier roles are opening up to me. I think this is going to be a good decade for me and acting. And it's starting right now.
Without going into too much detail, someone who I thought was a good friend has officially severed me from his life. It's for a reason that is 100% untrue, and it appears I'm very falsely perceived as a threatening presence to his romantic relationship. If it were true I wouldn't feel so hurt, but it's not. I never even knew the relationship existed until a couple of weeks ago, and I would never do anything to damage his happiness in it. So, last night instead of falling asleep excited about the play, I laid awake half the night feeling like the burnt bridge that I am. I won't pretend I don't miss our friendship, and that I'm not crushingly hurt. To have my friendship wadded up like old paper and tossed on the trash heap is profoundly painful. I hope no one ever treats him like that, and that he never has to experience what it feels like.
So, life brings the bad and the good, sometimes all at once. It was a day of huge highs and lows, and I'm grateful for the many good friends I do have. Time to concentrate on the happy things, and get ready for a great Shakespeare experience.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2005-08-13 01:20 pm (UTC)I'm sorry about the bad news, that it's not merely lameness but a decision to impoverish his life by cutting you out of it. As a good friend once said "They told me love is blind. They didn't say that it is also deaf, dumb, lame and stupid!"
Perhaps he perceives you as a threat to the relationship (whether he knows it consciously, or not) because you are so wonderful and would in fact confuse him at a time when he's trying to build one with someone else. Perhaps the threat is in his feelings about and reactions to you, not in anything that you would possibly do.
Even so, he's an idiot.
Ain't it grand that you're about to have a show eat your brain?
(no subject)
Date: 2005-08-13 01:26 pm (UTC)Well, there's nothing I can do about it, so its time to stop thinking about it. And time to start thinking about the play. I'm very excited about playing such a hilarious role, and plan to do very well.