The Highs and Lows

[plumtreeblossom]

Yesterday stands out as unusual. Within the same 24-hour period, I received both some very good news (artistically) and some very sad news (personally).

First the good -- I landed the plum role of Mistress Quickly in Merry Wives. This is one of Shakespeare's best low-comedy leads, in the ranks with such great clown roles as Touchstone and Nick Bottom. I can't wait to sink my hands into it and start creating the role. She's a total fruit bat of the highest order and I intend to really radiate the funniness of her. Interestingly, this female role is frequently cast with a male actor in drag, and I pushed a number of men to go for it. But they preferred to stay on the boys' side of the wardrobe rack, so only women read for the role. Now I'm glad. :-)

As I was saying to someone last night, when I was a younger actress I often had a tough time getting major roles because although I was of ingenue age, I was never ingenue type. I played a lot of quirky supporting roles like prostitutes, southern loud-mouths, hugely pregnant women, teenage sluts, and goofy roles in musicals. But now I'm at the age where a lot more meatier roles are opening up to me. I think this is going to be a good decade for me and acting. And it's starting right now.



Without going into too much detail, someone who I thought was a good friend has officially severed me from his life. It's for a reason that is 100% untrue, and it appears I'm very falsely perceived as a threatening presence to his romantic relationship. If it were true I wouldn't feel so hurt, but it's not. I never even knew the relationship existed until a couple of weeks ago, and I would never do anything to damage his happiness in it. So, last night instead of falling asleep excited about the play, I laid awake half the night feeling like the burnt bridge that I am. I won't pretend I don't miss our friendship, and that I'm not crushingly hurt. To have my friendship wadded up like old paper and tossed on the trash heap is profoundly painful. I hope no one ever treats him like that, and that he never has to experience what it feels like.



So, life brings the bad and the good, sometimes all at once. It was a day of huge highs and lows, and I'm grateful for the many good friends I do have. Time to concentrate on the happy things, and get ready for a great Shakespeare experience.

Comments

[lillibet.livejournal.com]

I'm so pleased that you're excited about Mistress Quickly. I think it's going to be hugely fun and that you're going to be great.

I'm sorry about the bad news, that it's not merely lameness but a decision to impoverish his life by cutting you out of it. As a good friend once said "They told me love is blind. They didn't say that it is also deaf, dumb, lame and stupid!"

Perhaps he perceives you as a threat to the relationship (whether he knows it consciously, or not) because you are so wonderful and would in fact confuse him at a time when he's trying to build one with someone else. Perhaps the threat is in his feelings about and reactions to you, not in anything that you would possibly do.

Even so, he's an idiot.

Ain't it grand that you're about to have a show eat your brain?

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

Thanks and hugs. I don't think he's an idiot. I just think I've been falsely labled as something I'm not, and it cost me a friendship that mattered to me.

Well, there's nothing I can do about it, so its time to stop thinking about it. And time to start thinking about the play. I'm very excited about playing such a hilarious role, and plan to do very well.

[scholargipsy.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry about your friend, but huge congratulations on Mistress Quickly! When I saw the cast list, and saw your name next to hers, I thought, "Of course!" It really is a great role, and a part I think you'll be terrific in.

Again, mazel tov! I wish I could see you in the play.

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

There will definitely be a DVD available. We can make sure you get one. Now go do some theatre in Japan! You should be acting.

[rdcf.livejournal.com]

Congrats on the great role. We'll make a better effect to get to this one! We always say we want to go and it just never happens.

As for the lost friendship, I'm very sorry but I've leave you with this - I've recently been rebuilding a friendship with someone I had a falling out with years ago. Different situation yes, but people do sometimes see their err of their ways and work to rectify the situation. I hope the same for you.

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

I've recently been rebuilding a friendship with someone I had a falling out with years ago

I hope that will happen someday. I honestly do.

Please come to the play. I'll be very funny and make you laugh, promise. :-)

[imlad.livejournal.com]

Congrats on the play! As for the relationship - it's difficult to comment. I do not know you that well, and I have no idea of the person you are referring to, but it strikes me (warning, a cliche is about to crush into the text) that someone who can act so, well, categorically based on a misunderstanding might not be a good friend candidate. Again, I totally don't know the context, but I find that people who are close friends of mine are much more understanding.

At any rate, best of luck with the role.

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

Oh hey, I can make it to Gargoyle's Wednesday if you guys are still free. E-mail me and we can fix a time.

[saturn939.livejournal.com]

Much suckage on the friendship thing. *sigh*

-Dej

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

I hope it can be fixed someday.

[androidqueen.livejournal.com]

well, you knew i'd say it, but his loss. if he's not a total idiot, he'll come around to his senses.

ladies, hide your men! plumtreeblossom's in town! (??!)

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

Hehe, I already have some men! And I'm no homewrecker. That's why it's all so sad. I could be friends with both him and her, if allowed. But it's not.

[androidqueen.livejournal.com]

i know you're not! i find it totally bizarre that someone would think you were!

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

I do too.

[moria923.livejournal.com]

Congratulations on Mistress Quickly! I'm sure you'll be very funny.

I wish I could say something useful about the friendship. It must be dreadfully painful. You don't deserve that sort of thing.

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

Hugs. And thanks.

[hill-the-khore.livejournal.com]

Mare, I can't blame your friend for tossing you out of his life. Whenever I bring my friends around you, they're all you talk about. Do you realize how many [gay] men you've stolen from me? I don't think it's quite fair, and for this reason, I don't think we can be friends. Also, you don't get to meet anymore of my boyfriends.

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

Laughing laughing laughing peeing pants oh no!!

Oh my God, I want to see you jell-o wrestle Dan Savage and David Sedaris. You'd kick their asses. I'm still laughing...

~ahem~ Very well then, I shall immediately vacate your life and cease disrupting your relationships with my presence. But that last boyfriend I stole from you was teh hot...

Yuck.

[mdm-sosostris.livejournal.com]

So sorry to hear about your stupid ex-friend. I had the same thing happen to me last summer. First guy I ever dated, one of the closest friends I ever had--and he (or rather, the hose-beast wad of insecure Jell-o that passes for his current girlfriend) decided I was not conducive to his romantic present, without allowing me so much as an opportunity to ask what the hell I had done.

So I wept uncontrollably--particularly to the strains of Anouk's "Michel"--tore up the umpteen layers of aged linoleum on my front porch, sanded the shit out of it, and laid down a new floor. (This at 3am on a Friday. Lucky I have thick walls.) And I'll tell you what: every time I'm out there, I rejoice in my efforts. It feels like such a clean, new space...despite the fact that heart-ache fuelled my work.

There is no excuse for someone not valuing your frienship. But sometimes, good can come out of the fuckwittage of others. And if my ex-friend ever comes back, I'll forgive him. In the meantime, I've reconstructed my life without him.

A sad truth: sometimes the men we love are retarded. But as Blaise Pascal said (and John Olson reminded me Saturday)--the heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing.

Blech.

Re: Yuck.

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

hose-beast wad of insecure Jell-o that passes for his current girlfriend

Hehehe. I like your style, girl. :-)

Tough to understand, mostly I guess because when I'm the new girlfriend, I really don't mind if my BF is still platonic-friends with an old girlfriend(s). So long as she is not still trying to get him back or harboring designs on him (which is not cool), it's entirely fine by me if they stay pals. Once I even struck up a very nice friendship with a new boyfriend's ex, and she became someone I could talk to when I needed to talk about the BF on deeper emotional levels, because she could see things from exactly my angle.

Well, insecurity breeds more insecurity breeds more insecurity, and you can cut out every last person in your life and it isn't going to make it one whit better. That much I know from my experience and that of other people.

Re: Yuck.

[mdm-sosostris.livejournal.com]

I know where you're coming from. I spent many, many hours trying to make the new girl feel comfortable around me. It was a tricky situation: his friends were all my friends; he took far longer to get over me than I over him; his mother had definitely been picturing little red-haired grandbabies. Plus these guys--because they're all guys but me--are not the easiest people to get to know, since they're sarcastic as hell and far too smart for their own good. (Which, yes, is probably why I still adore them.) When one of them started a conversation about a former girlfriend's perfect breasts, I stuck up for the current one. She even flashed me, for Ceres' sake. If that's not bonding, I just don't know what is.

Alright, it didn't help that when she dyed her hair red that the rest of the boys started calling her "Megan." But I'm not sure I can be blamed for that.

Despite my best efforts, though, I'm still out. And you're right--it's not our security (or rather lack thereof) that's in question here. At least you're secure enough in yourself to know that it's HE who has the problem. So F him, says I.