The Highs and Lows
Aug. 13th, 2005 07:40 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
plumtreeblossomYesterday stands out as unusual. Within the same 24-hour period, I received both some very good news (artistically) and some very sad news (personally).
First the good -- I landed the plum role of Mistress Quickly in Merry Wives. This is one of Shakespeare's best low-comedy leads, in the ranks with such great clown roles as Touchstone and Nick Bottom. I can't wait to sink my hands into it and start creating the role. She's a total fruit bat of the highest order and I intend to really radiate the funniness of her. Interestingly, this female role is frequently cast with a male actor in drag, and I pushed a number of men to go for it. But they preferred to stay on the boys' side of the wardrobe rack, so only women read for the role. Now I'm glad. :-)
As I was saying to someone last night, when I was a younger actress I often had a tough time getting major roles because although I was of ingenue age, I was never ingenue type. I played a lot of quirky supporting roles like prostitutes, southern loud-mouths, hugely pregnant women, teenage sluts, and goofy roles in musicals. But now I'm at the age where a lot more meatier roles are opening up to me. I think this is going to be a good decade for me and acting. And it's starting right now.
Without going into too much detail, someone who I thought was a good friend has officially severed me from his life. It's for a reason that is 100% untrue, and it appears I'm very falsely perceived as a threatening presence to his romantic relationship. If it were true I wouldn't feel so hurt, but it's not. I never even knew the relationship existed until a couple of weeks ago, and I would never do anything to damage his happiness in it. So, last night instead of falling asleep excited about the play, I laid awake half the night feeling like the burnt bridge that I am. I won't pretend I don't miss our friendship, and that I'm not crushingly hurt. To have my friendship wadded up like old paper and tossed on the trash heap is profoundly painful. I hope no one ever treats him like that, and that he never has to experience what it feels like.
So, life brings the bad and the good, sometimes all at once. It was a day of huge highs and lows, and I'm grateful for the many good friends I do have. Time to concentrate on the happy things, and get ready for a great Shakespeare experience.
First the good -- I landed the plum role of Mistress Quickly in Merry Wives. This is one of Shakespeare's best low-comedy leads, in the ranks with such great clown roles as Touchstone and Nick Bottom. I can't wait to sink my hands into it and start creating the role. She's a total fruit bat of the highest order and I intend to really radiate the funniness of her. Interestingly, this female role is frequently cast with a male actor in drag, and I pushed a number of men to go for it. But they preferred to stay on the boys' side of the wardrobe rack, so only women read for the role. Now I'm glad. :-)
As I was saying to someone last night, when I was a younger actress I often had a tough time getting major roles because although I was of ingenue age, I was never ingenue type. I played a lot of quirky supporting roles like prostitutes, southern loud-mouths, hugely pregnant women, teenage sluts, and goofy roles in musicals. But now I'm at the age where a lot more meatier roles are opening up to me. I think this is going to be a good decade for me and acting. And it's starting right now.
Without going into too much detail, someone who I thought was a good friend has officially severed me from his life. It's for a reason that is 100% untrue, and it appears I'm very falsely perceived as a threatening presence to his romantic relationship. If it were true I wouldn't feel so hurt, but it's not. I never even knew the relationship existed until a couple of weeks ago, and I would never do anything to damage his happiness in it. So, last night instead of falling asleep excited about the play, I laid awake half the night feeling like the burnt bridge that I am. I won't pretend I don't miss our friendship, and that I'm not crushingly hurt. To have my friendship wadded up like old paper and tossed on the trash heap is profoundly painful. I hope no one ever treats him like that, and that he never has to experience what it feels like.
So, life brings the bad and the good, sometimes all at once. It was a day of huge highs and lows, and I'm grateful for the many good friends I do have. Time to concentrate on the happy things, and get ready for a great Shakespeare experience.
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Re: Yuck.
Date: 2005-08-15 07:15 pm (UTC)Hehehe. I like your style, girl. :-)
Tough to understand, mostly I guess because when I'm the new girlfriend, I really don't mind if my BF is still platonic-friends with an old girlfriend(s). So long as she is not still trying to get him back or harboring designs on him (which is not cool), it's entirely fine by me if they stay pals. Once I even struck up a very nice friendship with a new boyfriend's ex, and she became someone I could talk to when I needed to talk about the BF on deeper emotional levels, because she could see things from exactly my angle.
Well, insecurity breeds more insecurity breeds more insecurity, and you can cut out every last person in your life and it isn't going to make it one whit better. That much I know from my experience and that of other people.
Re: Yuck.
Date: 2005-08-15 07:27 pm (UTC)Alright, it didn't help that when she dyed her hair red that the rest of the boys started calling her "Megan." But I'm not sure I can be blamed for that.
Despite my best efforts, though, I'm still out. And you're right--it's not our security (or rather lack thereof) that's in question here. At least you're secure enough in yourself to know that it's HE who has the problem. So F him, says I.