Devil + Idle Hands

I love promotional swag. Doesn't matter what it is -- it's a free thingy, and free thingies are always good. Pride was great for that; I cleaned up. Staples didn't know what it was doing when it sent me their latest swag catalogue at work. Now all I can focus on is teh shiny swag and all the things I'd like to order for Theatre@First.

Custom printed flashlight pens! We need those. Keychains, oh yeah. Official T@F lanyards (hey, they're useful!). How 'bout stadium blankets? It gets cold in there in the winter. Magnets, obviously. Can't you just see our logo on ice scrapers? Dude...two-tone umbrellas! Teddy bears in little T@F t-shirts, squeee! And you know we need stress balls. And printed lollipops. And embossed gold chocolate gelt (what, you didn't have that at your wedding?). Yardsticks: check (*ass slap!*). Back-scratchers too, if we're going in that direction. Hey, 3-way highlighter pens! Woohoo, emery boards! License plate frames! OMG golf tees! T@F frisbees filling the air...

I need to be in restraints right now.