Off-Stage Fright

[plumtreeblossom]

The good news is: Now I know exactly how many T@F projects are are too many to take on simultaneously.

The bad news is: I've taken on that many.

I'm over-extended. It's not that it's more work than I can do. (It isn't). It's that it's more than I can keep organized in my head without reaching a plane of anxiety that sometimes erupts into minor anxiety attacks, like this morning. Here are the projects I am working on currently at T@F/PMRP (in order of opening date):

Radio Drama (as actor in The Monkey's Paw and as foley artist in Fibber McGee, so really it's two projects)

December Cabaret (Producer, as in "main in-charge person and person responsible for its success", and as non-soloist performer)

Summer One-Acts Festival Proposal (more work than you think although wellstar has been doing more than me).

It doesn't sound like a lot, but when you have a full-time job, it is. Yes, everything will get done. Theatre is the unique interface of magic and bullshit that makes everything look easy and come out shining. I wouldn't do it if I didn't love it. But I wish I could borrow the brain of bex77, the most organized person I know.

Last night I was at a Monkey's Paw rehearsal (immediately following a Cabaret production meeting). Half of my brain was rehearsing, and the other half was ticking through the list of 100+ action-items for all three projects that I have to either do or delegate. I had to calm myself down a little -- I actualy have been even busier than this before. (Thank you, American Repertory Theatre, for scaring me straight about a career in professional theatre.)

Once everything is done, I need to set a new rule for myself: Only 1 project at a time if I'm in charge, or 2 if I'm not in charge. No more than that.

I just want to let the people working on The Margaret Ghost know that I'm sorry I haven't been able to help out on that show, and that I'll definitely be there to see it. I just couldn't commit to any more, not even ushering since I have no idea which night I can come. But I'm rooting for you guys!

Comments

[beowabbit]

I'm over-extended. It's not that it's more work than I can do. (It isn't). It's that it's more than I can keep organized in my head without reaching a plane of anxiety [...]

With my reduced spoon level and memory limitations, I am so familiar with this feeling!

Big warm hugs!

BTW, I insisted that they not schedule the EEG that's going to need me to sit at home plugged into a power outlet for 24hours with gauze wrapped around my head for the date of the radio drama performance. :-)

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you, sweetie! (for both the hugs and the accommodating EEG schedule :-))

Tomorrow I'll tell you about my current search for a prescription for Beta Blockers (seriously difficult to get for my particular problem.) It might eventually mean a trip to see a doctor in NYC. Not such a bad thing, actually. If it happens and you're free, maybe you can come with me. I gots a favorite hotel. ;-)

[beowabbit]

Oh, thank you, sweetie! (for both the hugs and the accommodating EEG schedule :-))

My pleasure, on both counts.

Tomorrow I'll tell you about my current search for a prescription for Beta Blockers (seriously difficult to get for my particular problem.)

For anxiety, or for hypertension?

If it happens and you're free, maybe you can come with me. I gots a favorite hotel. ;-)

I would love to do that if scheduling permits, but given how much time I’m needing to take off for my own medical stuff, a weekday trip isn’t likely to be an option in the immediate future.

*Answers phone.*

F’rinstance, I need to leave work early on Monday — to have my CPAP machine fitted! :-) YAY!

PS

[beowabbit]

PS — If your appointment is on a Friday or a Monday, maybe I could still spend some time in NYC with you, though, even if I don’t take a day off work.

Re: PS

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

It wouldn't be for a few months, if at all (I'm still hoping to find a sympathetic Boston doctor to prescribe).

Will tell you more later, off LJ. It's nothing life-threatening or catching, though. :-)