A 2nd Chance

[plumtreeblossom]

This harkens back to last week's drama of "the really good date who never called back."

You men were spared my girls-only filtered rant on my loathing of men who can't take 30 seconds to reject someone in proper fashion, quite a raging flare-up that you didn't need to witness (since it doesn't apply to any of the men on my friendlist). Anyway...

Yesterday I decided I had nothing to lose by e-mailing this man to let him know how impolite I found it that he chose silence over a simple "Thanks, but it's not a match" following our date, which I had concluded he hadn't enjoyed as much as I had. The e-mail was very civil, but made no mistake about my displeasure at never hearing from him again, even after I e-mailed and thanked him for the date (you remember that).

What came back promptly was a profuse apology, with interest in getting together again. He'd had many gigs and had lost track of the days (something I wouldn't have done, but nevertheless). He was very humble in his apology. It all appears to have been another illustration of the vast difference between "man time" and "woman time." 24 hours to a woman is 2 weeks to a man, or so the lore I've often read goes.

So, though I'm less enthusiastic about an actual dating situation with him, I really did enjoy his company and would like to persue friendship and see where it goes. On our date I had invited him to my birthday party at Johnny D's tonight, and to my surprise he remembered and asked if the invitation was still open. I told him yes, it still is. I see no concrete reason not to offer him a 2nd chance.

So, we may see him tonight, or not, though I certainly won't get up in arms if he doesn't come, and in fact I would be just as happy meeting him for coffee and one-on-one conversation again. But letting him meet my fine famiglia of Firsties might be just as interesting. Either way, I'll be having fun.

See you tonight, famiglia.

Comments

[guxx.livejournal.com]

After dating a woman for the first time, I prefer to reflect upon our time together before contacting her. Sometimes, that reflection lasts a day, sometimes a few days. Silence is golden at the right moments.

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

But if you really liked her, doesn't it worry you that while you're reflecting over that period of days, other men might be asking her out? I can't speak for all women, but I do know that most of us won't sit home by the phone if a man hasn't called back after several day. If someone else who asks me out, I'm not going to say "Sorry, I'm waiting to see if a certain fellow calls." I'll accept the date, and might very well be won over by that man.

After 4 days and no call/e-mail, I reposted my CraigsList ad (the one you saw). As it happened, no one of interest responded to that second one, but if they had, I would have accepted a date. I think most women would.

I don't know why that doesn't worry a man into calling sooner if he's really into a woman. Stake a claim, or you could lose your chance with her.

[guxx.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't wait four days. At the longest, 72 hours. Sometimes, my dear, expectation is worth more than instant reciprocation.

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

72 hours isn't bad. I'd wait that long before accepting a date with someone else. I'd get very cranky, but I's wait 72 hours. However, this was almost 2 weeks. In my book, that means I've been blown off.

Do you ever read "Rant & Rave" on CraigsList? It's this general conversation, except hostile and profane. ~shudder~ I don't know why I look at that, but I do .

[guxx.livejournal.com]

I must've missed that part in your aforementioned rant. I thought he responded after four days when you emailed him. If you didn't hear from him in a few days, and you wanted a second date, then you should have called him! Otherwise, consider him not interested. Whatever happened to feminism?

[androidqueen.livejournal.com]

heh, i think this is more the difference between musician time and 9-to-5 time. :) but if he remembers your bday, that's a good sign.

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

Yes, that surprised me, since I only mentioned it once and didn't push the invitation very hard. Quite odd, but interesting.

[kalisti23.livejournal.com]

Have a fabulously fun birthday!!!!!!