Bomb In Gilead
Feb. 1st, 2006 02:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
plumtreeblossomThis morning I read an article in the Metro covering the raging debate down at the State House about sex education in Massachusetts school systems. What strikes fear into my heart is the mere fact that this issue is even on the table at all, here, in the year 2006, in a state that pats itself on the back for progressive ideology.
I don't have children and don't plan to have them, but I do care very much about things affecting the education of generations following mine. More and more, I am grateful for the comprehensive Health Education I received as a child and teen in my public schools. It's frightening to wonder if the children of today's world may not have that crucial benefit.
I'm not writing this to spark debate; you have your views and I have mine. They likely differ to some degree. But it's my personal opinion that all students, at age-appropriate levels, are entitled to accurate information regarding: reproduction, birth control, STD protection, relationships, family preparedness and planning, emotional aspects of sexuality, abstinence, orientation differences, self-defense against sexual harrassment and rape, and resources for sexual health care. All of them, whether at home or at school. But in cases where parents can not or will not provide said information, it's my belief that it should be available through school programs. My own education was a factor in establishing that opinion.
5th Grade (Cleveland, OH): Oh, oh, where'd you go, Ohio? Oh yeah, to the Red Team. Not like my 5th grade days of yore, when twice a week we had our unit on Health. Over the course of the year, we learned all of the basics of how our bodies worked, including how humans reproduce. We learned what sperm and eggs were, and we learned how sperm and eggs came to be in the same place at the same time, not just in humans but in all animals. We were occasionally separated into boy-groups and girl-groups, and the school nurse explained to we girls the joyful change that would be happenening to us very soon (she did not refer to it as "the curse," and I made up "red menace" myself). She also explained that we might feel the urge to explore our bodies in a different way in private, and that it was perfectly normal so long as we were alone and we washed our hands before and after. And consistantly, we learned that any other form of sex was for grown-ups only, and that if anyone tried to touch us or speak to us in a sexual manner, we were to tell a trusted adult immediately, no matter what.
Good thing. I never once had a conversation about sex with either of my parents.
8th Grade (Pittsford, NY): More of the same material, since I'd changed school systems. Most of us were well into puberty by now, our little hormones rendered sex crack-up funny yet ceaselessly fascinating. The biological aspects of reproduction were more deeply explored and we wrote reports on things like twinning and genes. We watched a baby being born on film. No one's parents sued the school because of it, an despite the teacher's wager, none of us vomited. We were strongly encouraged to delay any sexual activity beyond kissing or holding hands, but rather than "delay until Holy Matrimony," it was "Delay until adulthood." That made perfect sense to me.
10th and 11th Grade (Pittsford, NY): It was openly called Sex Ed in my school, and classes were held in the round. Birth control and STD protection were taught in more detail. Once again a nurse visited, with a diaphram, a condom on a banana, an IUD, a packet of birth control pills, contraceptive foam and other messy 80s contraceptives, with explainations of how they each functioned. Abortion was also introduced. On a Monday, a pro-choice and an anti-choice speaker were brought in to each argue the merits of their side. The whole rest of the week was devoted to classroom debate among we students. Passionately pro-choice then as now, I'd leave each class session hoarse and breathless from shouting, as did the anti-choice kids. My friend Tom had to put me in an arm lock and sit me down when it reached critical level between me and a Fundie girl. But the fact that they let us argue it and maintain (or switch) our side was true education at its best.
The only subject that never came up was sexual orientation -- universal hetrosexuality seemed to be presumed by all. Since it didn't apply to me, I didn't have any questions to ask about it. It was the 80s. I thought I didn't know any G/L people (I was wrong, of course!) I hope the gay and lesbian students were able to bring their questions privately to someone and receive knowledgeable and unbiased answers.
Outside of class, the sexual pressure around me was intense. But I made the decision to wait until I was at least 18 and a legal adult before having intercourse. And that's just what I did.
Reading today's Metro I had to stop and wonder of my old schools are still teaching human sexuality so well and so accurately. Looking at a nation mired in fear and polarity, even here in Boston, I can only believe it must be harder for them today.
(entry heading quoted from The Handmaid's Tale)
I don't have children and don't plan to have them, but I do care very much about things affecting the education of generations following mine. More and more, I am grateful for the comprehensive Health Education I received as a child and teen in my public schools. It's frightening to wonder if the children of today's world may not have that crucial benefit.
I'm not writing this to spark debate; you have your views and I have mine. They likely differ to some degree. But it's my personal opinion that all students, at age-appropriate levels, are entitled to accurate information regarding: reproduction, birth control, STD protection, relationships, family preparedness and planning, emotional aspects of sexuality, abstinence, orientation differences, self-defense against sexual harrassment and rape, and resources for sexual health care. All of them, whether at home or at school. But in cases where parents can not or will not provide said information, it's my belief that it should be available through school programs. My own education was a factor in establishing that opinion.
5th Grade (Cleveland, OH): Oh, oh, where'd you go, Ohio? Oh yeah, to the Red Team. Not like my 5th grade days of yore, when twice a week we had our unit on Health. Over the course of the year, we learned all of the basics of how our bodies worked, including how humans reproduce. We learned what sperm and eggs were, and we learned how sperm and eggs came to be in the same place at the same time, not just in humans but in all animals. We were occasionally separated into boy-groups and girl-groups, and the school nurse explained to we girls the joyful change that would be happenening to us very soon (she did not refer to it as "the curse," and I made up "red menace" myself). She also explained that we might feel the urge to explore our bodies in a different way in private, and that it was perfectly normal so long as we were alone and we washed our hands before and after. And consistantly, we learned that any other form of sex was for grown-ups only, and that if anyone tried to touch us or speak to us in a sexual manner, we were to tell a trusted adult immediately, no matter what.
Good thing. I never once had a conversation about sex with either of my parents.
8th Grade (Pittsford, NY): More of the same material, since I'd changed school systems. Most of us were well into puberty by now, our little hormones rendered sex crack-up funny yet ceaselessly fascinating. The biological aspects of reproduction were more deeply explored and we wrote reports on things like twinning and genes. We watched a baby being born on film. No one's parents sued the school because of it, an despite the teacher's wager, none of us vomited. We were strongly encouraged to delay any sexual activity beyond kissing or holding hands, but rather than "delay until Holy Matrimony," it was "Delay until adulthood." That made perfect sense to me.
10th and 11th Grade (Pittsford, NY): It was openly called Sex Ed in my school, and classes were held in the round. Birth control and STD protection were taught in more detail. Once again a nurse visited, with a diaphram, a condom on a banana, an IUD, a packet of birth control pills, contraceptive foam and other messy 80s contraceptives, with explainations of how they each functioned. Abortion was also introduced. On a Monday, a pro-choice and an anti-choice speaker were brought in to each argue the merits of their side. The whole rest of the week was devoted to classroom debate among we students. Passionately pro-choice then as now, I'd leave each class session hoarse and breathless from shouting, as did the anti-choice kids. My friend Tom had to put me in an arm lock and sit me down when it reached critical level between me and a Fundie girl. But the fact that they let us argue it and maintain (or switch) our side was true education at its best.
The only subject that never came up was sexual orientation -- universal hetrosexuality seemed to be presumed by all. Since it didn't apply to me, I didn't have any questions to ask about it. It was the 80s. I thought I didn't know any G/L people (I was wrong, of course!) I hope the gay and lesbian students were able to bring their questions privately to someone and receive knowledgeable and unbiased answers.
Outside of class, the sexual pressure around me was intense. But I made the decision to wait until I was at least 18 and a legal adult before having intercourse. And that's just what I did.
Reading today's Metro I had to stop and wonder of my old schools are still teaching human sexuality so well and so accurately. Looking at a nation mired in fear and polarity, even here in Boston, I can only believe it must be harder for them today.
(entry heading quoted from The Handmaid's Tale)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Sorry - Long winded...
Date: 2006-02-02 12:28 am (UTC)I always kept the door open with my children. While I always gauged the type of information and how much information they received on what age they were when they asked questions, I never lied to them. If they are asking, they already know something and are thinking about the subject matter. Surely you remember the wild stories you heard in the bathroom at school. While public school sex, health education was available, it was poor at best in the schools I attended. I chose to educate my own children as age, time and questions dictated and not rely on the school system to educate them about matters of sex and their bodies.
When my twins had just entered their 8th year, I took them home to Boston. We spent an entire day at the Museum of Science. Not to miss a thing, we eventually wound up in the wing where the human body is explained in detail and that included the wonders of reproduction. What I had not remembered was the small personal theatre where you could view the birth of a baby both vaginally and by c-section. While standing at one display with my brother-in-law, marveling over details, my adventurous twins ducked into that small theatre and hit both buttons. I discovered them in the process of watching both films. I had to swallow my motherly horror rather quickly and decided on the spot that to act horrified and shocked would only make this situation bad. So I sat there and watched with them. I answered their questions as they came to them and that was the end of it. I didn't provide them with more information than they needed nor did I back out of the questions that they did ask. They were neither traumatized or destroyed by what they had witnessed or learned that afternoon. It was simple knowledge to them and they were fine with it.
I had no way of knowing it on that day but I had miraculously opened the door for a lifetime of serious discussions about sex, std's, aides, pregnancy with them as they grew. I always kept a straight face (so vital), and always gave them intelligent, straight forward answers that made them feel comfortable for having asked. While my adult son is less apt to discuss or talk about these things with me since his teen years, my adult daughter will ask me questions regarding sex (she is sexually active with her fiance) and come to me for advice. She does it so matter of fact and on some level, yeah, that does make me feel good as her mother. I had to learn first to separate my motherly shock and discomfort to be able to give them the answers they needed. If I didn't have the answer, I tried to point them in the direction they where they could obtain the facts they needed. I answered their questions about sex, bodily behavior, homosexuality, diseases, pregnancy, birth control, you name it, over the years we've talked about all kinds of things!
I feel good about the entire process of raising them with that attitude. They have not turned out to be homophobic, deviant sex fiends because they got the truth and accurate information when they asked questions as children. I do feel that if parents rely solely on the public school system to educate their children on these matters, they have no way of knowing what information their child is really getting and/or if it's adequate enough to prepare them for these matters of life. I suppose if more parents harbor the same attitudes as my parents did, then yes, I can see where pubic school sex education and supportive assistance via the school system would be vital to a child. I just feel bad if that is all they have to rely upon for the information and preparation they need.
Re: Sorry - Long winded...
Date: 2006-02-02 02:16 am (UTC)I'm amazed, sincerely, that you can remember so much about it!
I think that's mostly due to the fact that I don't have any children, and so my memories of my own chilldhood are my only memories pertaining to childhood. So I'm able to slip back into my "child head" pretty easily, since I don't have a newer child-related memory layer to go through first. I've often thought I'd like to write children's books. But then, my childhood world was Cindy Brady's world -- in other words, nawt kewl with today's kids!
I feel good about the entire process of raising them with that attitude.
That is so awesome! It sounds like you did a fantastic job with them. Also, boy-girl twins rock. If I were to have had kids I would have wished for that.
It would be great if all parents could be as open and affirming about sex communication as you were/are. But I do understand that some people just can't talk about it. Issues of religion aside, some people are just squicked out by talking about sex, as was the case with my parents. They did a great job in all other aspects, but they both had some profound issues about sex (they divorced when I was 5), and in our family's worldview, sex just didn't exist and was never to be brought up. That's why I'm glad the school's sex ed programs were there for me.
I don't know if there are Adult Ed classes for parents for teaching their kids about sex -- if not, it would be a good idea. It soulds like you'd be great for teaching such a class! But if there's even one child out there whose parents, for whatever reason, simply can't talk about sex, I'm supportive of comprehensive, accurate resources available at school.
Thanks for such well-written comments. I'm glad to have you on my f'list!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-02 03:34 am (UTC)I had sex-ed in grade school in Cleveland, too!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-02 02:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-04 11:10 pm (UTC)